Teenagers who think they know shit about politics because it’s what their parents tell them: Stop saying you’ll move to Canada if Obama wins.

I’m not a supporter for either of these candidates (hence the previous posts) but, seriously.

The country that has gay marriage legalized, socialized healthcare, abortion is allowed and like 1/2 the population is atheist? Yes, I’m sure your conservative, Obama-bashing self will fit right fucking in. At least pick like some place in Europe not within the EU or something, like jesus get your facts straight.

Fuck.

Hi, my name is trolling-for-dummies, and I had been clean off this for 4 months now. I mean, at first, my friends told me it was alright. “You won’t get addicted,” they said. “Just a few levels and you’ll be fine,” they said. This was in 2008, and I have been a user ever since. I recently got off the wagon in May, because I didn’t get the thrill anymore, the amazing sensation.

2 days ago, my friend told me they formulated a new version for this. “It’ll give you a better thrill than all of this other pussy shit,” he told me.
"C’mon."
"Just one level."
"No one gets addicted from one level."
"We’re all doing it."
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is trolling-for-dummies, and I have started using again.

Hi, my name is trolling-for-dummies, and I had been clean off this for 4 months now. I mean, at first, my friends told me it was alright. “You won’t get addicted,” they said. “Just a few levels and you’ll be fine,” they said. This was in 2008, and I have been a user ever since. I recently got off the wagon in May, because I didn’t get the thrill anymore, the amazing sensation.

2 days ago, my friend told me they formulated a new version for this. “It’ll give you a better thrill than all of this other pussy shit,” he told me.

"C’mon."

"Just one level."

"No one gets addicted from one level."

"We’re all doing it."

Ladies and gentlemen, my name is trolling-for-dummies, and I have started using again.

It’s 9/11 today, and think about this for a minute.

Back in ye olden days, I used to be able to go right through airport security, and they’d smile at us and let us pass on through. No huge scanning machines, your bag wasn’t searched by the minimum-wage TSA employee who didn’t want to be at his job because his wife kicked him out of the house for having an affair with his babysitter the day before, the TSA didn’t do “random” pat-downs on your friend that was conveniently wearing a turban, and I could get through the airport onto my fucking plane without having my dick wrangled multiple times by heavyweight African-American men.

So, you think we won? You think it’s over? I need to wear fucking rubber underwear to get to airport security. One time my flight got delayed because something was vibrating in the luggage, and the genius airport security guys thought it was a bomb or some shit. Lo and behold, it was some middle-aged white lady’s dildo. A fucking dildo. I can’t even go on the plane with my 1999 Chateau Le Pin Pomerol and enjoy a glass of wine whilst dining upon caviar and lobster with a Russian ballerina.

The terrorists have already won.

All my friends are arguing about politics...

  • Friends: So trolling-for-dummies, are you a liberal or a conservative?
  • Me: Well, I hate liberals.
  • Conservative friends: OHMAHGAWDYESTHATSMYBOYROMNEY2012NOGAYMARRIAGEYEAHREPPINOBAMASAGAYSATANICMUSLIMFUCKYEAH
  • Me: But I fucking hate conservatives more.
  • Conservative friends: ....
  • Liberal friends: ....
  • Me: So I don't really know.
What did I just watch. Vince Gilligan you monster magnificent bastard.

What did I just watch. Vince Gilligan you monster magnificent bastard.

Get in a car. Drive to a busy parking lot.

A really busy one. Where people are just dying to get good parking spaces. Amusement parks, the beach, supermarkets, places having lots of clearance deals, anything. Drive over there. Get a good parking spot (easier said than done).

There should be people driving all over looking for spaces, desperately combatting each other to find the most perfect spot to park, because people are naturally fucking lazy and don’t want to walk an extra 5 feet.

Anyways, get out of your car and wait. Then walk back to it, preferably when theres another car nearby looking for an empty spot. Enter your car, put it in reverse, and then pull out a bit to make it look like you’re leaving. Give that person a glimmer of hope. So their mind is screaming, “Yes! I’ve found the perfect spot!”

Then pull back in the spot and turn the car off. Walk out of the car, stare at the other car, and smile.

Real life trolling at it’s finest.